It's DECEMBeR and I'm still raking leaves at work! I don't know why I got such a late start on them this year. I've been raking them on and off for the past few weeks. I started off good but then I went on a week's vacation around Thanksgiving. Then it started getting cold and rainy, so I put it off. Yesterday it wasn't raining but there was a light dusting of SnOW on the ground; regardless, I decided to go outside and rake. The leaves were soaking wet; it was cold and my fingers were numb. The leaves were damp and heavy and there were all these damn twigs and STICKS mixed in with them, making my life ever the more difficult as I raked and raked and raked until I heard a CRACK! And that's when I realized my rake had broken in half! HAHAHAHA!! For a moment I wondered if the leaves were just too heavy and wet; then I wondered if perhaps I was just too big and STRONG to be raking leaves, that it was inevitable that the rake would break due to my fearsome work ethic and over-exertion of my bulging muscles. But, no, I think the rake was just a piece of crap, honestly, and it was on its third or fourth year of raking. Today, my boss brought in another one and I am JUST ABOUT FINISHED. Finally. It's always soooo sad when I rake leaves. I feel bad for the crispy, dead, brown little guys who, not so long ago, were green and bright as soothing summer water ran through their veins. The sun shone brightly upon them as they frolicked upon the limbs amongst their leafy little buddies and now they are all DEAD and WET and they are causing my rake to break the way I'd like to snap Old Man Winter's neck! Actually, when I first started raking these leaves about three weeks ago, the weather was extremely nice for November. It was sunny and warm. I was at my apartment complex one morning during this period, taking some garbage out to the dumpster, when one of building's maintenance men started chatting me up about how nice the weather is. At one point during this rather normal but inane, pointless conversation, I didn't really know what else to say so I said, "So, what do they call it when the weather is this warm in November? Indian Summer?"
And to this the oh, so righteous maintenance man said, "Yeah, that's the UNPOLITICAL thing to call it." He wasn't really outwardly condescending in his tone, but man, what a way to sour a conversation with a near-stranger by implying that I was somehow being insensitive to Native Americans! Or that I was some sort of vulgar, ignorant person. To tell you the truth, I didn't give a crap what this maintenance man thought of me. I was just being polite by having a conversation with him about the stupid weather, anyway. As far as I could tell, though, he was a damn gringo or "Pale Face" just as I am, and I don't know why he felt the need to "correct" me the way some pedantic losers like to correct people about their grammar all the time.
I just said, "Oh, I had no idea that 'Indian Summer' was offensive to Indians. What, is it sort of like how they get pissed about sports teams having names like the Atlanta Braves, Florida State Seminoles or Washington Redskins?" He just sort of chuckled and said, "Yeah, something like that" and was I like, "Okay, see ya dude! Nice talkin' to you!" (NOT) I then promptly walked away from the fucker, admittedly wondering if it really WAS considered UN-PC to use the term "Indian Summer," because I'd never heard that it was before. I looked it up online real quick and didn't really find anything substantial. There are some vague ideas floating around that say calling nice weather in the Fall an "Indian Summer" is related to calling someone an "Indian Giver" when they ask for a gift back that they bestowed upon someone, implying some sort of "fakery" or "trickery" on the person's part (as in a "fake" summer), but for the most part I think the maintenance man was full of CRAP. If I ever meet an actual Native American who says this offends them and why, and their explanation sounds reasonable, then maybe I'll change my perspective and think about not using the term "Indian Summer" anymore, I guess, but until then I leave you with:
"Indian Summer! Indian Summer! Nanny Nanny Na Na!" LOL!
