Thanksgiving this year was the first time I'd actually CELEBRATED Thanksgiving in any real form or fashion in quite a few years. It admittedly made me feel good to take part in the holiday and, waking up yesterday morning and having the day off from work, I felt this urge to do something for BLACK FriDAY, not wanting my holiday cheer to end! Of course, I don't really have the money to be one of those people who go to Wal-Mart, Circuit City, Best Buy, or any of those other stores, getting in line at 4am and taking a number to get a good deal on a stereo, flat-screen TV, I-pad, lawnmower or what-have-you. What I DID think was more within my budget was to go to the nearest supermarket to see if I could get a good deal on some HaMbUrGeR!! My mother had given me a little money when I was home for Turkey Day-- $100, actually (!!!)-- and she made a point to tell me not to squander it. I managed to pay my phone bill with about $60 of it, bought a few packs of smokes with about $20 of it(sssshhh, don't tell her!), and I needed to make sure I spent the remaining $20 on something she would approve of. All this past week I've been eating fucking TURKEY, the white and brown meat of some fucking BiRD and what I really needed was some RED MEAT in my belly! Mom had made numerous remarks while I was home about how skinny I was getting so I'm sure she'd be happy with me buying some hamburger (especially if I got a good deal on it) to put some meat on my bones!
She had also inquired as to whether I had been wearing underwear lately. She had bought me a six-pack of tighty-whities for Christmas last year and, being someone who much prefers going commando, I didn't have the heart to tell her that I'd used all that brand-new shiny white underwear she'd bought for me as napkins to wipe the hot sauce off my face as I ate tacos! LOL! But I started thinking that MAYBE, just maybe there was still a pair of those underwears left, that I hadn't used all six as a napkin, and how cool would that be to be able to wear a pair of the underwear my mom bought me while I go to the grocery store to buy hamburger she would approve of with the money she gave me? And sure enough, after rummaging through my closet for a bit I discovered one pair of the underwears she had given me for Christmas, one that had somehow escaped my insatiable, irrational urge to wipe my mouth with! Hahahahaa! So over my privates and buttocks it went, fitting tightly and snuggly as I wore them to the supermarket in search of some BiTChIN BLaCK FrIdaY DeALS ON RED MeaT!!
But when I arrived at the meat section of the grocery store I found there were actually no deals on hamburger at all! As a matter of fact, as I looked at the prices and fondled and examined the various packages of meat, I saw that they were running the same SCAM that they always do. For the past few years I've noticed that you can no longer just get a POUND of hamburger anymore! They always have the quantities weighed out as a tad bit more than a pound, forcing you to buy more than you really need. They sell them in quantities like 1.35 lbs of 1.45 lbs, 1.25 lbs, etc., which is annoying because all the dishes I make require simply ONE POUND of hamburger! Hamburger Helper=1 pound; tacos=1 pound; spaghetti=1 pound of meat to mix in with the sauce, etc., and when you are poor like me having to spend that extra 60 cents to a dollar or so on excess hamburger simply angers me to no end! I've been meaning to actually confront someone at the grocery about this fucking racket they have going on, but suspiciously, and not surprisingly, whenever I look around the meat department there is never anyone around. Needless to say, My BLaCK FriDAY was ruined as I felt that, while other people were out and about getting good deals on nice, sparkly things, here I was at the supermarket getting ripped off on something so mundane and drab as hamburger!
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